Thursday, December 20, 2012

A MOST MEMORABLE HOLIDAY SEASON


     Several years ago a newspaper solicited people to write in about their most memorable Christmas. This is what I wrote and it brought back many memories reading it again.

"Christmas Eve will find me 
Where the lovelight glows." 

     When I hear the words of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" it reminds me of 1980 and the most memorable holiday I've had as an adult. 
     It took a major change in my life for me to realize just how important that "lovelight" is. That realization came when, just before Thanksgiving, My wife of 18 years had left town with another man. I'd become suddenly single. 
     The "lovelight" from two different families helped me, following that shock, to make it through the family-oriented holiday season. 
     From the start, my parents had been concerned and as supportive as they could be from 700 miles away. It was their concern that led to the most important part of this memorable holiday. They sent me a plane ticket for a family Christmas at my sister's home in California.
     That trip did much toward shaping my attitude as I entered a new phase in my life. The love, compassion and understanding I felt from my family helped me put my situation in perspective. I knew, even though there would be many changes ahead, I would never be alone. The family bond was strong. 
     I felt closer to my sister and her husband than ever before. They were genuinely interested in what had happened to me and, late one night, we discussed situations in their marriage as well as in mine. it. It helped to talk about it.
     I knew the love present during that Christmas in California was one of the most precious possessions I had. I also came to realize, from reexamining my marriage, that love not acknowledged and returned can easily be lost. 
     When my mother and father took me to the airport, I made a conscious decision to become a more loving person. I embraced my parents and told them: "I love you". That love was something we both took for granted but it needed to be spoken. They were obviously affected. While they found it difficult to respond verbally, I felt their love. It was an emotional moment that I'll never forget
     It was a relaxed and contemplative flight back to Missouri, concluding the most memorable Christmas I’d experienced
     But the story doesn't end there because the holiday period didn’t. It continued on through New Year's Eve and the second family to play a role in my most memorable holiday, a new family. 
New Year's Eve, traditionalIy concluding the holiday season, can also be traumatic, particularly for someone who sees his life suddenly turning around. It is not a time to be alone. 
     It took a lot of courage before I finally called about an All-Church Singles group activity for New Year's Eve. That call, in large part, signaled the start of a new life. It was to a woman who soon became a second mother and good friend and who invited me to become a member of her "family." 
     Mary Hawkins, in her sixty's, introduced me to a number of people on New Year's Eve. But, more importantly, she soon had me as a regular member of a small group of men and women who had fun together, helped and loved each other as friends. 
     That's the tale of two families and the holiday season of 1980, the most memorable holiday in my life. The events of that time came during a major life change and headed me in a new direction. 
      I started 1981 with more confidence and assurance. 







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